DISCLAIMER

Robin Andersen is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Monday, September 12, 2005

crushed

I guess I am kind of lucky I crochet, it keeps me from going totally insane. Tuesday was a bad day at work....too much work and not enough people. Wednesday was the most horrible day of all - my 29 year old nephew died for no apparent reason (as of right now - no drugs or foul play, the coroner claims everything is "normal"). And Thursday I decided to have a medical emergency that put me on bedrest all weekend.

I was trying to crochet a poncho for a friend of mine. I had to frog it because the stitches became _way_ too tight. I guess my tension level was up. It went from being about 23 inches long to about _17_. That is not a good thing.

Sadly, I turned to making something to put in my nephew's casket. He was my first nephew, the first baby I made a toy for that I was related to, the first grandchild, the whole bit. I had made him a lion and a baby afghan. (I also made him, much later, a circus train afghan, one you could take the animals out of the cages and play with them.) I made another lion, bright yellow with a white mane and a white tail. I embroidered the goofy smiley face I use for all my stuffed toys. Than I put it to the side. I was hoping by not looking at it anymore that I wouldn't realize the loss that was sustained.

But it became real for me tonight when I placed the lion in the casket. I remembered the little baby boy he was and just broke down. It felt so horribly wrong to be there, to be placing the lion there. I kept saying to my sisters "This is _wrong_, we shouldn't be doing this".

But it would be _wrong_ not to have done that for him. There's nothing more I can physically do for him, it's the only way I know how to show my love, and for that, I guess I am kind of lucky I crochet.


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Robin, I know we don't know each other, I am also on the CPers list..May I express my most sincere condolences for you and your sister's terrible loss....

Norma in Ca.

Kim Guzman said...

Oh, I am so very sorry for your loss, Robin. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. Take care.

Robin said...

Thank you both so much for your concern and kindness.

Robin

KathyMarie said...

Robin, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You're in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Robin, my sincere sympathy on your loss.
I too am in Baltimore, Maryland and I don't know of anyone that crochets or gives lessons.

I read your posting in the cplist.

Norma

catzilla02 said...

Dear Robin,

I am so very sorry to learn of your loss. I only just read it today.

I know it is always difficult, but when it's someone so young, it is completely inexplicable. I can empathize only too well.

Sympathy and wishes for peace to you and your family.

Most sincerely,

Marilu

becky said...

So sorry for your loss....I have been searching for the circus afghan pattern for my Mom who made it years ago and wants to do another...do you by chance have the pattern???
Becky